computers--- draft1
Computers are playing an important role in our daily life. They improve our life more and more convenient. Because computers can store a large amount of information, which can be recalled in no time. They also provide some functions like information, entertainment and convenience. Therefore I can listen to music, watch a movie and get some news from computers. In addition to be used at homes, computers are also used in business, transportation, education, researches and many other fields. So we can say that we cannot do without them in our daily lives.
Personally, I have a liking for computers. I can search some data which I want to find. Recently, people send an e-mail in order to save time. Computers not only get some information but also play games. So in my free time I can play a computer or watch TV. Because these advantages cause computers’ sales volume higher and higher. It is the most important product in recent years.
posted by 許雅婷 @ 9:00 PM
8 Comments:
1.Therefore "," I can listen to music
2.watch movie"s" 妳只看一部啊！
3.So we can say that we cannot do without them in our daily lives.
這句怪怪的
4.Recently, people send e-mail"s" in order to save time.
5.Computers not only get some information but also play games.
電腦會找資料和玩遊戲啊? 擬人嗎? 妳的主詞弄錯了
Therefore的後面要逗號
I can search some data which I want to find.
這句用some的話感覺電腦不是很好用耶
１．Because computers can store a large amount of information, which can be recalled in no time. 那個which前面不用逗號吧
２．. In addition to be used at homes, 那個in addition to 後面要加動詞ing
3.第一段最後面應該是life
4.Recently, people send an e-mail in order to save time. 你不只寄一原郵件吧所以應該用複數
５．Computers not only get some information but also play games這句語意很不順，電腦可以玩遊戲，應該是我們可以玩遊戲吧
Computers not only get some information but also play games.>>可以再also後面+can巴
therefore後面要加逗號
So we can say that we cannot do without them in our daily lives.
->充滿著怪!!
therefore後面要加逗號
watch movie"s"
send e-mail"s"
Therefore的後面要加","
So we can say that we cannot do without them in our "daily lives".
是daily life吧？
our life 要複數吧…
some information(s)
Computers not only get some information but also play games. So in my free time I can play a computer or watch TV. Because these advantages cause computers’ sales volume higher and higher. It is the most important product in recent years.
沒有逗號感覺怪怪的…
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